Wednesday, March 2, 2011


dear porter,

i can’t believe that on saturday it will have been a year since we haven’t had you. i miss you more then anyone will ever be able to understand. you were the boy i could always count on. to make me laugh, to cheer me up, to make me smile, to just be silly with. i’m sitting here listening to “hear you me” on repeat, watching atty in her swing thinking about how much i miss you, and how i wish you could be here more then anything. when i see atty i think there’s no way that you two weren’t up playing in heaven, or that you didn’t teach her to be happy and always have a good attitude. that might sound crazy, but i really believe it.

you’re the reason i’ve made it through everything that’s happened in the last year, even without you here. i remember your mom telling me a story about her being at girls camp and it was “alone time” and she was praying and asked you to watch over me and she felt you telling her you would, (i think that's how it went. if not please correct me..) and i know you did. your not far from my heart at all. all our memories cross my mind so many times a day. like driving to metro station and getting sooo lost, going to secondhand serenade, when me and jessica made you let us do your hair and take pictures, going to a different metro station concert, you pulling me in a wagon and drawing on my sidewalk with chalk, going to the dark knight, watching batman at my neighbors house, saying we were going to throw food at jessicas house… even though we all knew we would be friends again. hahaha

on saturday jessica, will, and i are going to your grave. me and jessica have dedicated our day to you. it’s going to be such a hard day. it will be bitter sweet. i know you aren’t far from anyones heart but its still hard to not have you here.

i’m sorry i wasn’t as good of a friend as i could have been at the end. it’s all my fault, and there isn’t a day that goes by that i don’t regret it. thank you for everything you’ve taught me.<3

may angels lead you in sweet boy.