Saturday, April 24, 2010

3.30.2010

i went up the canyon yesterday, and it was super hard.
everywhere i looked i could see cliffs.
i couldn't get away from them.
i had to cover my eyes the most the time in the car.
i felt like i had to get out of there, but no one would listen to me.
i kept telling them i couldn't do it and that i wasn't ready to see things like that yet,
but i don't think they took me seriously.
in fact, i know they didn't because they didn't turn around and take me back home.
as hard as that was for me though, i'm going to go on the dry canyon hike.
it might take a while though.
i don't know why.
because i hate nature.
you know that
i really hate hiking, and now i am terrified of cliffs.
i just have a feeling i need to go.
maybe it will bring me closure.
i really don't know.
and i feel like i should go alone.
i know i'll be terrified, but i just have to do it.
i want to do it. for you.
i'm gonna try to stay away from any edges.
but you weren't even by the edge.

keep watching over everyone.
we miss you.

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