05.06.10

i miss you a lot lately.

i swear everything i see reminds me of you.

ever since i went to your house the other week it's seriously everything.

i remember your dad telling me you guys would watch wizards of waverly place, and phineas and ferb.

and that your girlfriend was demi lovato.

and everytime i watch tv i see those shows or that girl.

and sometimes i have to bring myself to watch wizards of waverly place.

i always think of that home video your mom showed us, where you were flying a kite and telling jordan you saved your money for a foam airplane, and you got a foam air plane!!

i seriously crack up every time i think of it.

while we looked at your scrapbooks that day i could so see you.

to me you looked the same.

but when your mom showed us more recent pictures it got harder.

but i still loved it, and i loved your long hair, even if your parents didn't love it. haha(:

i can't believe it's been two months.

that means that two months ago today brian tried telling me and i didn't believe him.

i just couldn't.

someone like you couldn't be gone.

especially without me being able to say goodbye.

there's probably a reason i didn't get to say goodbye.

i would never let you go.

i would make you stay at my house with me forever.

and we would never do anything because i wouldn't want anything to happen to you.

i think one of the reasons why i've been thinking about you so much lately is because i don't think you'd be too happy with some of the decisions i've made and some of things going on in my life.

i think your disappointed
but i'm pretty sure your with me and helping me through it.

i keep listening to the last song you recorded with brett mcneill.
and i love it.
i have to listen to it over and over again.
i remember your cute mom telling me how you told her the words were genius.
and your definitely right.
they are.
and so is your amazing guitar playing.